Warm Fuzzies and Clear Minds

I once had a wise bishop tell me something that changed my life. I was pondering a big life decision and was unsure which path to follow. I mentioned that I would take the decision to prayer while attending the Temple and if I felt bad about choice A, I'd go with choice B.

Bishop stopped me.

He explained to me that I was not going to feel bad in the temple. That when I went with open heart and in proper spirit, I was going to feel the Holy Spirit of the Lord in His house. He further explained that while our Heavenly Father can guide and comfort us, he's not going to give us all the answers. Step by step dictation of righteousness was the OTHER plan during the war in heaven.

I recognized the truth in his words. They have helped me ever since in recognizing how and why I need to find answers. I have applied these same principles to other areas of my life with equal success and peace.

One of those areas is politics.

Living in Utah and dealing with politics is something I've been dealing with my whole life. I worked on campaigns for my father, neighbors and friends of the family. I have participated in campaigns from Governor to school board. My childhood was filled with late night political discussion around the kitchen table with people far more educated than I explaining their point of view. I've learned some valuable lessons I'd like to share here.

Warm Fuzzies do not equal righteousness. Warm fuzzies are the emotional feelings that tug at heartstrings and skew perceptions of any given topic. Example: I sure think the red headed mayor reads so nicely to those kindergardeners and has fabulous taste in shoes, but that does not mean that she is qualified to be the administrative head for our city, no matter how gracious she was on our loving doorstep. I sure think that Brother Friendly is kind, mowing the old lady's lawn for her, but he needs to be accountable for fraudulent practices while serving as county commissioner, regardless if he has BBQ's with the Bishop.

If emotion dictated all our life's choices, we'd all be in big fat trouble. Especially those of us who tend to be moody once and awhile. Emotions are fickle, changing with whim and flippancy. Emotion is not to be confused with spiritual promptings, either. Facts, evidence and a solid grounding in reality ought to have a higher "purchasing power" in helping us come to a decision than how pretty Mayor Barbie is and how righteous she seems.

Not too long ago, I needed an inspection on one of our vehicles to get the registration renewed. I stepped into a rather seedy looking place that was recommended to me. Right over the counter was a large framed picture of the LDS First Presidency. A friendly man took my keys and was very sympathetic when my vehicle didn't past the inspection. He nicely explained that I needed two minor repairs which the shop could do for me at minimal cost. I declined to have the repairs done at that time and he "God Bless"'ed me out the door.

Long story short, when we reported to the Highway Patrol that the shop had tried to commit fraud and we were told they were scam artists and I eventually went in for a sting operation with an undercover cop and lots of backup to bust the place for illegal activity on felony scale- I kicked myself for not being smarter to what went on because if this nice man and his distribution center print.

The point of this story is that when someone ostentatiously promotes their religion or tugs at emotional heartstrings in connection to a logical issue, you ought to watch out. If fact and truth were on their side, they wouldn't rely exclusively on emotional manipulation.

I am NOT saying that spirituality doesn't have any place in our life's secular decisions. It does. Pray for guidance, look for virtuous people as candidates. Just don't assume because the Pharisee is praying on the street corner that he must be the super spiritual guy for the job. I'd rather have a moneychanger with 20 years experience of honestly balancing the books.

I am frustrated now with politics in our quirky burg. Many folks I've talked with are relying solely on warm fuzzies without thinking with clear minds. Being such a "nice person" is not qualifying one to hold a leadership position. And as the old adages states "God helps those who help themselves". So people, think, research, follow up on outrageous claims. Do your bit to find the truth and what is right. And if you don't think you ought to because Sister Sweetspirit was such a great quilter at homemaking the other night, then God help you. God help us all.

Call Me Un-Enlightened

Ok. So I have gotten some crap about getting my kids flu shots this year. Don't I know that vaccinations are the governments way of pumping toxins into my children's bodies so they can fester and die? Don't I realize that not *that* many people suffer serious complications from flu and it's not that big of a deal? Aren't I appalled that I'm feeding into health insurance company megalomaniacal hype to pay for something that will only go to pad the pockets of overpaid executives and further push the downtrodden into poverty?

Sure. My kids got the vaccine anyway.

Not a lot of people remember the "good old days" when children would suffer and die from measles, mumps, polio, smallpox and other nasty diseases. I personally wasn't around in those days, but I'm a reader and I've read the histories of towns and families decimated because of outbreaks and deaths. My grandmother was a physician who practiced during the very exciting times in medical history where these awful diseases were practically eradicated through immunization. I've heard the stories and read the accounts of how things used to be. I have no doubt that the world is better off and more people are living a higher quality of life through vaccination against disease.

Proceed to throw tomatoes. I'll take it.

But it's not natural , God made our bodies to work perfectly and it is only through the perversion of man that we have any disease at all! Um, just because it doesn't say so in the Bible doesn't mean that Eve didn't have eczema or Adam acne. Throughout the past 3000 years, not kicking the bucket until 40 was an impressive life span. (Well, what about Noah, people counter. People- Civilizations didn't always use the calender or measurements of time we use today. I think there was creative license used in counting back then. But then again, I'm a heretic. I don't think the entire world was put together in 144 hours, either.)

Yes- I'm aware that there are chemicals including mercury and formaldehyde in immunizations. I also know that there is arsenic in apples but I let my kids eat them anyway. Yes, chemicals are artificial, but I don't believe that natural is perfect and man-made is evil, as a rule. Thank heavens for other unnatural products like antibiotics, disinfectants and Cheetoes. Sometimes, the unnatural greatly improve quality of life. I believe that immunizations also fall into that category.

Not that long ago, I was frequently in the hospital with my young daughter who suffered from plumbing problems. I would sit by her bedside, comfort her during procedures, get her pudding from the nurses station and wander through the halls with other zombie-like parents whose children were suffering. So many of the doors had warnings and signs that respiratory cases were being treated in that room. I asked Supernurse, the greatest nurse we had ever had in the dozen+ hospitalizations we endured, why there were so many kids dealing with the respiratory flu and how did they get so sick when it was *just* a common flu? Her lips got a little tight and she seemed to be holding back a bit, but then told me quietly that not one child admitted with respiratory distress the entire season had gotten the flu vaccination. Having seen the parents of these kids, eyes dead with worry, mothers weeping in the hall, hearing kids screaming as IV's were attempted to be inserted into dehydrated limbs again and again- I decided then and there I would get my kids the flu vaccination from that point on, no matter what the cost.

That leads me to the final argument. This is the most ludicrous of them all, imo. It was once said "Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door". I don't feel entitled to anything in life other than life itself, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. You've got something I want? I'll pay you for it, I'll earn it and work for it and be grateful for an opportunity. If it makes you rich, good for you. I don't hate or resent people who succeed in business through honest means. I endeavor to be one of them!

So- My kids are vaccinated. You do what you want with your own kids, but I'm going to trust my gut on this.

Friday Treats...Hmmm...

So, some of my friends have this thing they do called "Friday Treats". The idea is that after school on Friday you have a snack ready at your home for any kid who wants to come by and have a break. Your children invite friends and acquaintances and whoever to drop in for a bite. Big kids, neighborhood kids, anyone. You just have a whole bunch of cookies or something and you get a peek into the life of who's who in the school circuit.

It could get expensive, but I think I might try it. I need to figure out the particulars and details before I let my kids in on the idea. This is not the sort of carrot you can dangle and then yank away. But kids need a break after a long week of school and how cool would it be to be a 'fun mom'?

Honestly, there is an ulterior motive to the madness, too. Unfortunately, my child and a few others in my area have experienced unkindness from some other kids this week. I've been talking to my children and explaining that how you treat your fellow man proves what kind of person you are, not what merit badges you've earned or how precious perfect your mommy tells you that you look. I want my children to learn something positive from the un-Christlike behavior of others directed to them and to be kind to everyone, regardless.

I can't micro manage every aspect of my daughters' life. I can't run interference for every beast or bully that comes their way. But I can teach them how they can react to situations that they create or encounter to learn and grow in a positive step. I can provide a soft place to fall when life gets rough. I can certainly provide them cookies for themselves and their friends once a week.

I think.

Hmmmm...

I know, I know...

As my husband has recently reminded me, I have not updated this blog since January. *hangs head in shame* I've found other distractions and have had no internal need to spill my guts for the amusement of "The Internets". I've recently put several other distractions on hold so that I could come back here and make amends to you all.

I am on a precipice. My youngest child will be going to KINDERGARTEN this fall. My baby. The caboose. She's signed up for afternoon kindergarten, so I'll still have her to myself for 5 half days a week. But this marks a time I thought would never really truly come.

I've survived the infancy of my children. I've cleared the hurdles of toddlerhood. We've (kinda sorta) successfully navigated 6 combined years of the preschool experience. I can hardly believe it.

The past 9 years I have not had a reliable time on a schedule where I could use the bathroom without interruption. I have had to be on call every minute of the day to cater to diapers, owies or snapping up the impossibly small fasteners on the back of Barbie clothing. Now- I get some time- 2 and 1/2 hours an afternoon, 5 days a week- without child rearing responsibilities.

I'm a little frightened.

So- What to do with this new found freedom! I actually have a running list going on in my head.

Tackle the filing that is threatening to take over my office.

Clean said office to see if there is, in fact, two desks in there. I seem to remember there once was...

Exercise. I've got about 50 lbs from my pre-pre-pre-pregnancy weight to lose. I've more than that from where I was just 3 years ago. I'd love to feel healthy and energetic again.

Catch up with friends. Not just online or through Facebook, but in real honest to goodness face-to-face communication.

Clean and organize our home. We've done a lot of work on the house this year and the bones are good. Now, I need frosting of organizational tools and routine to make my home be the kind of home I want my children to grow up in.

Pray, read, meditate, study, ponder, write, bless the lives of others.

So much to do.

So- what will I do the first day that my littlest little girl walks through those school doors?

Probably cry.

I Hate Bullies

You know what is a good feeling? Being on the bad side of a bully. Because you know that if someone who is motivated to be unkind to those who are vulnerable- and they don't like you- you are doing something right.

Just kinda sad.

Feeling a little sad and alone. Any prayers from my MOFia girls would be so very much appreciated. I miss you guys!

Do you ever get one of those "DUH!" moments?

So, I was chatting with a friend online tonight and in course of casual conversation I realized something.

I need help.

Seriously.

I've been struggling with a lot of junk on my plate and despite my efforts to throw off the last 2 years of hell like they were nothing- I have not been able to. I'm going to need help.

I don't know how I didn't see this before just now. I sincerely hope that I can move past the hurt and fear and move on with life. I'm frustrated, angry, weepy and motivated to move on and get past this. For me, my husband and my children. I need a couple kick-butt sessions with an excellent counselor to sort my thoughts and get back on track, so I can live like I care again. I know it won't be easy, but I need to get myself straight on the path I need to be on, I want to be on.

Wish me luck- I'm going to need it.